Thursday, May 21, 2009

This one contribution from my friend Raj...ops Dr. Raj !!


Things you don't want to hear during surgery:

Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.

Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop.

Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?

Hand me that...uh...that...uh.....thingie.

Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.

Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?

Damn, there go the lights again...

"You know, there's big money in kidneys. Heck, the guy's got two of them."

Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!

Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off.

Anyone see where I left that scalpel?

This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?

Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donor card?

Don't worry; I think it's sharp enough.

She's gonna blow! Everyone take cover!!!

FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out of here!

And the winner is.......What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change...!

Must read....You will connect to this ....

Angrezi? Maro goli!
Jug Suraiya
During China’s Cultural Revolution a commissar toured the country to ascertain if peasants had carried out the diktat of reading aloud Mao’s thoughts while sowing seeds, so as to ensure a bumper crop. A farmer, who said he’d read out the Chairman’s thoughts while planting, was asked by the commissar if he’d had a good harvest. Oh, yes, said the farmer. My radishes reach from here to Heaven. You fool, said the commissar. Don’t you know there’s no Heaven? I do, replied the farmer. And there are no radishes, either. The story aptly sums up the current debate about whether English should or shouldn’t be scrapped in India. Like Heaven, or the Chinese farmer’s radishes, we’re talking about a non-existing entity. When Harold Laski visited India he expressed approval that the welcoming speech made by a local trade union leader was in the vernacular. There was an awkward silence. The union leader’s speech had, in fact, been made in what all present (except Laski) believed to be chaste English. That’s why they say the British finally left India: they couldn’t bear it anymore to hear their language being so mangled every day. It’s not just the pronunciations. Forget the Gujarati ‘snakes’ (snacks) and ‘takes’ (tax). Or the Bengali ‘brij’ (breeze) and ‘shit of paper’ (sheet of paper). Or the south Indian spelling of banana: bee-yayyen-yay-yen-yay. Or the Punjabi celebration of ‘birdays’ (birthdays), especially if they fall on ‘Sacherdays’ (Saturdays) and the person concerned is of good ‘krakter’ (character). Punjab is also famous for its ‘loins’ (lions) and its ‘laiyers’ (lawyers). Our orthography is even more inventive. ‘Child bear, sold hare’ (Chilled beer, sold here) might be an exaggeration, just about. But lots of shops sell ‘milk and cureds’ (curds). And restaurants serve ‘Chinees, Muglai and Conti’ (continental) food. Many a political speech is made from a ‘dias’ (dais) which may or may not be ‘miniscule’ (minuscule). Advertisements always proclaim ‘Offer open till stocks last’, never ‘while stocks last’. ‘Till’ denotes termination (We will love each other till we die); ‘while’ denotes duration (We will love each other while we live). While, till? Termination, duration? KFP. Ki farak pehenda? (What difference does it make?) It doesn’t. Like the use of the apostrophe ‘s’, which indicates a shortened or contracted form: ‘it’s’ for ‘it is’. Technically, in the other use of ‘its’, as a pronoun (Its price makes the Nano a great buy), the ‘s’ shouldn’t take an apostrophe. But who cares a flying fig for technicalities. We apostrophise at will. As in our wont. Or should that be ‘won’t’? Fewer and fewer of us can tell the difference between ‘fewer’ and ‘lesser’. What’s that you say? ‘Fewer’ should be used when we are talking in numeric, or countable, terms: Fewer people (not ‘lesser’ people) attended today’s rally. ‘Lesser’ should be used in describing non-numeric quantity or magnitude: children of a lesser god; theft is a lesser crime than murder. But all of us – including the TOI – swap our lessers and our fewers with abandon. We like to ‘er’, and generously add ‘er’ to words that don’t need it as a suffix. So neighbour becomes a ‘neighbourer’, preferably a ‘next-door neighbourer’, to distinguish him from the neighbourer living 50 doors down the road. And forger, as in someone who forges currency notes, becomes a ‘forgerer’. We also tend to be nervous ‘the’-ists: we are never quite sure when to use ‘the’ and when not to. For example, all of us tend to talk on phone (not ‘the phone’). On the other hand, when we fly, we prefer to travel by ‘the plane’, rather than ‘by plane’, which may or may not be made by ‘the Boeing’. In all, Mulayam and the others of the ‘Angrezi-hatao’ brigade are only asking for the removal of a long-dead corpse, massacred by us in our daily usage. It’s high time we gave English a decent cremation. Harry bol, bolo Harry!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Few more findings......

Women with high emotional intelligence 'have more fun in bed'

Its getting so scientific now.......

Luck favours the bold.....and she is getting bolder !!


Freida face of global cosmetics giant............


London: After Bollywood actresses Aishwarya Rai and Sonam Kapoor, ‘Slumdog Millionaire’ star Freida Pinto is the latest celebrity from India to join the star-studded line-up of cosmetic giant L’Oreal Paris. The Mumbai native has been announced as the international spokesperson for the Paris based beauty brand. The 24-year-old actress joins a long list of the brand’s celebrity associations which includes Hollywood A-listers like Jennifer Aniston, Beyonce, Scarlett Johansson, Penelope Cruz and Eva Longoria, reported Marie Claire magazine online. “I am very moved to be joining the great L’Oreal Paris family and all these personalities, a family I am now proud to be a part of,’ said Pinto talking of her new role. The model turned actress who became an overnight Hollywood sensation with the success of her debut film, ‘Slumdog Millionaire’, is currently shooting for Julian Schnabel’s movie ‘Miral’ in Israel and has also been signed on for director Woody Allen’s latest venture. PTI

Last few days have been crazy.....

Gosh last monday was terribly crazy in the office.....No power, No wi-fi, epbx not working, few shortcircuits, plumbing problem, the office guy quit without any alert, warehouse shifting, few urgent orders and customers yelling..... end of the day we still managed to smile, if not laugh loud.......

Monday, May 4, 2009

Woman power !!


Women activists in Kenya have taken the fight for political reform to a new arena — the nation’s bedrooms.

How so? They’ve gone on a week-long sex strike and they’ve asked sex workers to join in.

And what are they protesting against? The growing infighting between the coalition government’s partners.

But surely seven days of abstinence isn’t so great a hardship? Not for the Kenyan male apparently. Even two days without sex is high punishment.

Wow! Guess they are marathoners and not just on the sports field! The wives of the bickering PM and president have been exhorted to pop the question about the state of the nation at the delicate moment when their husbands’ pants are down and, err, ears are up. One of the first ladies is quite gung-ho about this; she says the move will create awareness about the country’s fragile political state.

Do you think there’s a lesson in this for our squabbling netas? Unite, or else…! Given their venerable age, the reverse might work better.

Unite, or else? Gird up for action seven days in a row!


(Overheard by Vandana Agarwal)

I have ordered one of these cups !!


OFFICE MEMO: All members of staff - please note that due to recession, there will only be one drink per person at this year's Annual Party. And please bring your own cup!

Regards, Management


And see what happened at the annual party !!!

Friday, May 1, 2009

Pappu cant dance......but this cockatoo can !!!





Head-banging cockatoo shows birds can groove


New York: They wouldn’t blow away the competition on ‘Dancing with the Stars’, but it turns out that some birds got rhythm. After studying a cockatoo that grooves to the Backstreet Boys and about 1,000 YouTube videos, scientists say they’ve documented for the first time that some animals “dance” to a musical beat. The results support a theory for why the human brain is wired for dancing. In lab studies of two parrots and close review of the YouTube videos, scientists looked for signs that animals were actually feeling the beat of music they heard. The verdict: Some parrots did, and maybe an occasional elephant. But experts found no evidence of that for dogs and cats, despite long exposure to people and music, nor for chimps, our closest living relatives. Why? The truly boppin’ animals shared with people some ability to mimic sounds they hear, the researchers say. The brain circuitry for that ability lets people learn to talk, and evidently also to dance or tap their toes to music, suggests Aniruddh Patel of The Neurosciences Institute in San Diego. He proposed the music connection in 2006. He also led a study of Snowball that was published online on Thursday by the journal Current Biology. A video of Snowball bobbing his head and kicking to music has been viewed more than 2 million times on YouTube. Patel saw it after a colleague pointed it out. Patel collaborated with Snowball’s owner in Indiana for a more formal test. Snowball’s movements followed the beat of his favorite Backstreet Boys song, “Everybody (Backstreet’s Back)” even when researchers sped up the tune and slowed it down. Actually, Snowball drifted in and out of following the beat, just as a child does, Patel said. But statistical analysis of his head bobs showed they really were related to the tempo. AP

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Women who are cleaning up America's mess-Jeff Bailey, Forbes

Are the professional women in India reading this?
click to read.......

Bikini Jeans !!


Hey guys...you will soon see these in Goa & Mumbai.......

The difference between a resume, CV and bio-data

Read and put to use...........

People use the words Resume, C.V., and Bio-data interchangeably for the document highlighting skills, education, and experience that a candidate submits when applying for a job. On the surface level, all the three mean the same. However, there are intricate differences.

"Resume" is a French word meaning "summary", and true to the word meaning, signifies a summary of one's employment, education, and other skills, used in applying for a new position. A resume seldom exceeds one side of an A4 sheet, and at the most two sides. They do not list out all the education and qualifications, but only highlight specific skills customized to target the job profile in question.
A resume is usually broken into bullets and written in the third person to appear objective and formal. A good resume starts with a brief Summary of Qualifications, followed by Areas of Strength or Industry Expertise in keywords, followed by Professional Experience in reverse chronological order. Focus is on the most recent experiences, and prior experiences summarized. The content aims at providing the reader a balance of responsibilities and accomplishments for each position. After Work experience come Professional Affiliations, Computer Skills, and Education

"Curriculum vitae" is a Latin word meaning "course of life". Curriculum Vitae (C.V.) is therefore a regular or particular course of study pertaining to education and life. A C.V. is more detailed than a resume, usually 2 to 3 pages, but can run even longer as per the requirement. A C.V. generally lists out every skills, jobs, degrees, and professional affiliations the applicant has acquired, usually in chronological order. A C.V. displays general talent rather than specific skills for any specific positions.

Bio-Data, the short form for Biographical Data, is the old-fashioned terminology for Resume or C.V. The emphasis in a bio data is on personal particulars like date of birth, religion, sex, race, nationality, residence, martial status, and the like. Next comes a chronological listing of education and experience. The things normally found in a resume, that is specific skills for the job in question comes last, and are seldom included. Bio-data also includes applications made in specified formats as required by the company.

A resume is ideally suited when applying for middle and senior level positions, where experience and specific skills rather than education is important. A C.V., on the other hand is the preferred option for fresh graduates, people looking for a career change, and those applying for academic positions. The term bio-data is mostly used in India while applying to government jobs, or when applying for research grants and other situations where one has to submit descriptive essays.

Resumes present a summary of highlights and allow the prospective employer to scan through the document visually or electronically, to see if your skills match their available positions. A good resume can do that very effectively, while a C.V. cannot. A bio-data could still perform this role, especially if the format happens to be the one recommended by the employer.

Personal information such as age, sex, religion and others, and hobbies are never mentioned in a resume. Many people include such particulars in the C.V. However, this is neither required nor considered in the US market. A Bio-data, on the other hand always include such personal particulars.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Hobbies !!

Listed in few CVs --'Thinking', sleeping(lady candidate),

You may call these weird but each of these candidates had a detailed explanation as to why they listed these as their hobbies....

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Dedicated to my friends in publishing


NOVEL IDEA
Making A Best-seller

Narendra Nair
A friend is going through post-partum distress. He published a novel, now he is anxious about its future. The first print run was 500 copies. According to the publisher, that was 450 copies too many. Twenty were distributed among friends and relatives, another 20 were “donated” to a big chain of book stores and some libraries. Ten suckers were cajoled into buying them. Getting it published had been a feat in itself. The first publisher sent it back without comment. Publisher No. 2 wrote back to say that he was full up till the year 2030; if, after that, the author still wished, he could send it to them again. Publisher No. 3 told him that times were hard and he had a bypass on his father-in-law coming up; if the author could put up the money for it, he would see what he could do. One after the other, they turned it down, some with haughty reserve refraining from commenting on his temerity in sending it to them and some unburdened by any such reserve. Some of the comments were so scathing that despite being fairly dark, he blushes when recalling them. Eventually, one publisher — naive, young, reckless and impecunious — agreed to bring out the thing on the condition that they halved the costs. If at all they sold anything, royalties would be no more than 5 per cent on each sale. Advertising would be a no-no but he promised energetic word-of-mouth and instructed his staff of three to plug the book to everyone they met. It was printed on recycled paper. My friend, an atheist, prays 10 hours a day now at temples, churches, synagogues and mosques. He has prayed at Tirupati (all he got was a lightning-flash of the idol from the aam-janata line) and at Guruvayoor. He has sent anonymous copies to Pramod Muthalik and Ashok Gehlot (his book cover has a couple holding hands), half a dozen Shiv Sainiks, an Archbishop, two orthodox Muslims and some television journalists, drawing their attention to this literary outrage that criticises Hindus, Muslims, Christians, all major political parties and television news. Nothing happened. He then printed 100 sheets on his computer with the message, “Ban ‘Pub-Crawl’” and put six exclamation marks after it. He placed them on seats in local trains one night and now sits with bated breath, surrounded by holy books awaiting denunciation and the call for a ban. Ah-ha!

Monday, April 20, 2009

Is there an Archie around you? Would love to have one !!


Get few T shirts done for all in the office..!!


Beating round the bush!!


We all agree? Please raise your hand. Just one hand not two...!!

Against the mumbai sky.....


Lovely pic !!!

Earn & share....!! You need a big heart....

Interesting piece.........

‘Wealth creation has a new meaning today’
Renu Mehta is one of UK’s youngest, high-powered philanthropreneurs redefining the face of philanthropy. She tells Nona Walia why we need to redefine the concept of giving:
How are young philanthropists changing the concept of giving? I feel young philanthropists are quite different in their approach to philanthropy. There are several super-rich, young billionaires who have reaped the benefits of capitalism but believe it can be applied in the service of charity. The ‘philanthropreneurs’ are driven to do good. This is a new movement, where people don’t leave cash-rich legacy after they turn a certain age, but start giving to society when they’re young in a creative way. They have a passion to bring about social change with their money, time and skills. This is the new face of philanthropy. Therefore, we’ve formed a club of global leaders, celebrity activists, influential entrepreneurs who want to come together collectively to make a difference. I’m closely working with Peter Archer of Sandwell, Prince Azim of Brunei, Timothy Bell, Annabel Goldsmith and The Earl of Iveagh. So, philanthrocapitalists have given a whole new meaning and purpose to wealth creation? Wealth creation has a new meaning these days. Everyone wants to be an ethical money-creator. It also builds on the brand value of companies. Modern-day CEOs just don’t want to come across as hard, money-making men. So, everyone wants creative solutions to making money yet helping out. Charity is often trigged by an emotion that we express through giving. Philanthropy is about channelising it strategically. New-age philanthropists are interacting at the highest level for social change; i do not like to call it socialising. For instance, we exchange ideas to stimulate a new culture of giving. I confess that the glamour attract people and gets the message across. Therefore, we’ve often had Al Gore, Bill Clinton, Milla Jovovich, Deepak Chopra, Michael Douglas for our causes. Is that why you chose to turn your social network into a network for doing good? I wanted to make generosity fashionable again. I work closely with James Mirrlees to give the super-rich a fiscal incentive to dramatically stimulate philanthropic giving. Essentially, the superrich are the most privileged, they can really bring about change. So, new philanthropists don’t just want to give their cash but want to be hands-on with their skills too? Modern-day philanthropy doesn’t end with signing a cheque. I’ve seen the new breed of philanthropists give their entrepreneurial spirit of how they want to make good investments where they are seeking the best social returns. There’s a new synergy. We want things to happen fast to create a better world. It’s about having a global responsibility. We need action-oriented philanthropists. Innovation and entrepreneurship will be needed now more than ever in bringing social change.

Mac vs PC.....do read this.....

we all fall prey........

The Indian black economy!!

Unbelievable yet true.....!! click the link. Am sure you'll hate that you dont even have a single crore with you.....

It's corporate takeover!!

Sunday 19th.apr, 09, TOI featured this article.....

Just picked these few words....."The Indian economy, it is said, grows at night, because the government is sleeping then'

We all agreee, I guess??

Friday, April 17, 2009

Online crash course on salad making.....

Lovely.......the variety of salads available these days is amazing.......but nothing better than making your own salad with all the wild incredients you can think of.....And if the company is good....its more yummy!!! You bet
http://www.rediff.com/getahead/2009/apr/14slid1-five-crunchy-summer-salad-recipes.htm

Is Manidra Bedi getting hotter by day?

Cricket can change you and your sex appeal......Mandira am I right?
Lucky Siddhu Paji.....
http://specials.rediff.com/movies/2009/apr/16slide1-mandira-bedi-on-extraa-innings.htm

Rohit Sharma-COO Digital Entertainment.....what a sucess story

Hey guys......what are we doing? Think, Think.........

http://getahead.rediff.com/report/2009/apr/16/hire-smart-people-even-if-they-are-smarter-than-you.htm

"I wanted to earn money and lead a stylish life" says Shweta Bhardwaj

Yaar who does not want a sytlish life? Chill see this site......feel happy

http://specials.rediff.com/movies/2009/apr/16sd1-shweta-bhardwaj-on-films-and-modelling.htm

My married friends will definitely agree ...!!

"Man who sinks into a woman's arms, soon finds arms in the woman's sink"

Sorry guys cant do much now.......Others please take clue.....

pasted on the wall !!!


Hey....do they look like pasted on the wall?
My friends from Macmillan.
Was fun having them home for lunch on a sunday.....

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Hey guys......print this and paste on your board.....

Handling a bad boss is always a challenge.....U bet.......
View this site for more.....I am sure you will want to practice if you have a bl__dy boss.....and if you are the boss then.....u know what your team is expecting out of you....cheers..

http://www.rediff.com/money/2009/apr/09how-to-handle-a-bad-boss-8-tips.htm

Stomach this.....

Fact: Your stomach gets a new lining every third day !!
No wonder my stomach shines every third day......well if every cloud has a silver lining.....so does the stomach....every third day!!!!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

I would love to know where all these IAS guys are....My idea team would love to have one of these specimens

Q.How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper)

Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would ittake four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23 Rank Opted for IFS)

Q.If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and fourapples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands.(Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS)

Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A.. It is not a problem, since you will never find! an elephant withone hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES)

Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Probs , He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 98)

Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A.. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS Rank 2)

Q. What looks like half apple ?
A : The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper )

Q.. What can you never eat for breakfast ?
A : Dinner.

Q. What happened when wheel was invented ?
A : It caused a revolution..

Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A : Liquid (UPSC 33Rank )

Interviewer said "I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question.Think well before you make up your mind!" The boy thought for a while and said, "my choice is one really difficult question..""Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me this."What comes first, Day or Night?"The boy was jolted in! to reality as his admission depends on the correctness of his answer, but he thought for a while and said, "It's the DAY sir!"
"How" the interviewer asked,"Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!"He was selected for IIM!"

one on team work.....though I would not do it this way...

history with some science in it....

You can show this to your kids......
D history teacher was on leave, so d science teacher ws asked 2 prepar d.exam papr.
Q-1, as designed-Describe Ashoka wit a diagram n label his parts.....

this one for all who are looking for alternate career....as photographer

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SobPmoAMeH0

Few know I was into commercial photography. Money was good but the technology and these pretty ladies were missing......May be after my BPI tenure.....I will get back to photography.....I have to take care of my eyes from now on....ah ha.....

Time Management.......

I picked this from youtube.......worth taking a look......
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SfwczBOsDP4

The dimension funda in this is quite interesting.....you may have to view this few times.....to understand.....